Play it as it lies

Golf is a game that is simple in concept, but more difficult in execution. Hit a small ball the least number of times into a hole in the ground eighteen times. In some ways, playing golf can be similar to life itself.

As developed long ago in Scotland, one of the unyielding rules is that once you hit the ball to start a hole you may not touch it until it reaches the green. The exception is if the ball is lost or in an unplayable lie, which requires the player to count a penalty stroke.

The famous story of pro baseball players and pro golfers discussing who played the more difficult sport illustrated the game’s relentless rules. The baseball players chided the golfers because they hit a rapidly approaching ball that moves in various directions. The golfer’s non-chalantly replied that the baseball players were correct, but that the golfers had to play their foul balls. Case closed.

Some time since the game began players have added two variations, which relax the rules and make playing the game easier. The first is known as the mulligan and allows the player to hit a second shot if the first one is unsatisfactory. Analogous to the popular “do-over” today, players are able to avoid a penalty for their mistake and feel better about the level of their play.

The second modification is to permit a player to “bump” the ball on the ground in order to create a more favorable lie to strike their next shot. Although some players stretch the definition of a bump to their advantage, merely touching the ball at all creates an advantage.

I’ve played golf strictly by the rules, and have utilized the two techniques above. As you might guess, my golf scores are better when the match allows me to bend the rules as discussed.

Life can be like the rules of a game like golf. The rules are written for all to play by and are communicated in order to forewarn the players of how to play and the consequences of violating the rules.

We all make mistakes in life, which is like hitting a poor golf shot. Sometimes, life deals us a second chance or a mulligan, and hopefully we hit a better second shot. However, sometimes we have to take the penalty stroke and add it to our score card without relief. No one would argue the pain that comes with a penalty.

Similarly, in some matches the players agree to allow each other to bump the ball while it is in play and the game is easier for all. Unfortunately, in life it is rare that we can modify the rules dealing with our families, relationships or work in order to get a more favorable lie before we continue play.

In 2006, a group of high school students were told that if they left class to protest what they viewed as a social issue, that they would be denied admittance to their prom. The students marched anyway and then were faced with the promised discipline. They and their families were so incredulous that they sued in order to re-gain a favorable lie. They were denied and learned a difficult lesson. Their disbelief that a penalty would follow their disobedience of authority told me that they had lived their entire lives up through high school by bumping the ball and hitting mulligan’s every time they disobeyed a rule. They had never suffered a penalty previously or they would have taken the notice of one more seriously.

In life, we have to play each shot “as it lies” after our previous shot or action. We might receive an occasional mulligan or second shot, but we should always play it with appreciation instead of entitlement. If we do so, we will prepare ourselves more completely, play or live better and will suffer less disappointment when we aren’t allowed to bump the ball or take a mulligan.

© 2007 Richard V. Battle